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Broken Vending Machine

Games! On a forum!
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Entity
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Post by Entity »

OkaySandwich wrote:stuff
I pop out of the vending machine and approach you. Hey did you draw your avatar?

I put in a losing lottery ticket.
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Bad At Gravity
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Post by Bad At Gravity »

You get a winning lottery ticket, you won $-1337.

I put in the "For Goodness' Sake, What In The World Were You Thinking" award. It's shaped a VHS tape for a 'Star-wars Musical Christmas' special.
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ZeroSwordsMaster
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Post by ZeroSwordsMaster »

You receive George Lucas screaming eternally.

I put in four-hundred and twenty giant wasps.
Bad At Gravity
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Post by Bad At Gravity »

You get stung.

I put in a half digested ∞ lb. stomach. It tastes like chicken.
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Bad At Gravity
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Post by Bad At Gravity »

( ∞ pounds, hm... )
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OkaySandwich
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Post by OkaySandwich »

You get Neil DeGrasse Tyson with a KFC bucket on his head.

I put in an antique mahogany cupboard.
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Entity
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Post by Entity »

It doesn't fit in the coin slot.

I put in an egg ;)
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Bad At Gravity
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Post by Bad At Gravity »

You get a Yoshi Omelet.

I put in my precious magic hat. If it doesn't come out in one piece I'm gonna shoot someone.
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Entity
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Post by Entity »

You get a precious magic hat. It is in two pieces.

I put in a shekel.
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OkaySandwich
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Post by OkaySandwich »

You get 25 schmeckles.

I put in a keytar.
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papaya
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Post by papaya »

you get the entire country of qatar

i fart directly into the coin slot
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Entity
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Post by Entity »

Your fart is accepted, but since it is lighter than air, instead of falling in, it wafts into the area with all the snacks.

I put myself into the coin slot.
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ElectroYoshi
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Post by ElectroYoshi »

You get ejected with your face upside down.

I put in a photo album.
I need a shot again, that sweet adrenaline.
Bad At Gravity
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Post by Bad At Gravity »

You get a mug with your face on it.

I put in a giant nuke, twice the size of the vending machine, but it fits. It has a fuse of 3 posts.
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Phantomboy
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Post by Phantomboy »

The vending machine screen simply reads, "Oh- you'll see."

I put in the concept of companionship! :D
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RetroBandit
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Post by RetroBandit »

You get a giant f-bomb since this is the internet, no one can be nice unless they have "other" motives.

I put in a justin beiber deportion form.
I think I am flying?
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OkaySandwich
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Post by OkaySandwich »

You get a White House petition.

I put in a beagle in a bagel.
Bad At Gravity
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Post by Bad At Gravity »

As you put in the bagel, the vending machine slowly starts to tick softly.
Tick. Tick.
Quickly increasing in speed and volume.
Tick. Tick. Ticktick. Ticktick.
It is soon as loud as a train. The vending machine shaking wildly.
Tickticktick. Tickticktick. Tickticktick.
Your ears begin to bleed as the noise increases, your eardrums ready to burst.
TICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICK.

It stops. Just like that. No sound, no movement. Everyone crowds around you OkaySandwich. Then the bomb goes off.
Spoiler
ImageThen the nuke goes off. Ripping the Vending Machine apart, metallic shrapnel flying off in each and every direction. A particularly large piece lands on your foot. Everyone crowds around the crater. A bagel lands, smoldering, on the floor of the forums.

I put a refrigerator box on the floor, labeled "Temporary Vending Machine" and I put in some brownies (The food), hoping to attract some Brownies (The fairies that like to fix things.)
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papaya
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Post by papaya »

you dump the brownies into the cardboard box, sit down on the floor cross-legged and begin to wait. The smell of burning metal and burning bread still prevails in the air, and its very obvious that this replacement vending machine is nowhere near as magical as the one that came before it. Magical pixies dont even bother to show up because they can't fix something as magical as the vending machine that got blown up by some arrogant fool's attempt to make a joke. Beagles and bagels? Really? How does that even work - beagles are like twice the size of a bagel. Are there slices of beagle meat as the filling? is poor fido in half just to fit in the coin slot? is it a massive bagel? there's not even a mention of the word bugle in your joke. D-, see me after class

i put a new (magical) vending machine in the box because goddamnit someone around here has to replace it, and then put in a coin to test it
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Phantomboy
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Post by Phantomboy »

It dispenses a perfectly fizzy can of your favourite sparkling drink, or if you happen to dislike carbonation-- your favourite still beverage.

I haphazardly toss two jagged pieces of metal into the machine.
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