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Let's roast ourselves!

Fool around and enjoy the craziness.
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ElectroYoshi
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Joined: October 18th, 2012, 8:27 pm
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Let's roast ourselves!

Post by ElectroYoshi »

You heard me, people. Let's roast ourselves! I'll go first!

---

Hi, my name is, uh... Brent, and ElectroYoshi is a good friend (Pft) of mine. Now, I'm given to understand that you guys like him for... some strange reason... So in light of that, I explained to him that people may wanna be more like him. So he put me in charge of explaining to you guys how to be like him.

'cuz I'm a trusted friend.

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

He dun goofed.

So, here's how to be like ElectroYoshi in 5 easy steps!

Step 1: Grow out your hair until it's obnoxiously long. Now, go all the way with this. That means no haircuts. Of any kind. Ever. That hair HAS to grow as much as possible. It's not long enough until it's longer than this guy's:

Image

But we're not done. Did you really think I was only talking about hair on the head?? Pffffffft. Yeah right. You're well on your way, but emulating that dead raccoon on Electro's head is just the beginning. Than, you must grow out your facial hair. When it looks like a bunch of mice gathered on your face, died, and somehow managed to stick, you're golden! Lastly, you must grow a caterpillar above your eyes. Y'know that hair that grows between your eyebrows and joins them together? Yeah, you need to grow that out. Forever. Don't worry if it impedes your ability to take a picture without looking pissed off. If anything, looking like a grump all the time will make you even more like Electro!

Step 2: The next step is to develop unhealthy obsessions. To be like Electro, you need at least a few topics that you won't shut the hell up about. To be consistent with Electro's interests, we'll be using the band Shinedown as an example. Now, let's say you're a big Shinedown fan. Bring up your crush on Brent Smith despite your heterosexuality every 5 minutes. Also be sure to bring it up randomly in a conversation. If the person you're talking to looks weirded out and/or uncomfortable, you're makin' progress! (Unless they're homophobic, in which case you should probably rethink your choice of friends...)

Step 3: Now you're gonna wanna play cartoony video games almost all the time. You know the type, Mario, Zelda, Kirby, Yoshi (OMG SO KYEWT!!!!!111!!1!!!1!1!ONE), Pac-Man World, yadda yadda yadda. If these games are your forte and anything else is basically nonexistent in your gaming library, you're emulating Electro perfectly! Also, this kinda goes with what I was saying up there, but become obsessed with an animal from a video game. Every single avatar you ever use on any website, be it a forum such as this or a social media outlet such as Facebook, MUST depict this animal in some way shape or form. It's science, broham.

Step 4: To complete Electro's look, you'll need his skin. So whaddaya do? BE SO FREAKIN' WHITE THAT ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT YOU GOES BLIND!!! I mean, have you SEEN Electro's skin? It's so white that whenever he goes out in the winter, every school within 50 miles has a snow day. To get this way, NEVER. GO. OUTSIDE. Spend all your time indoors. And a little bit of white paint never hurt anyone. (OK, actually yeah it probably did, but... whatever, you get the point.

Step 5: The final step is probably the most important: Be snarky to the point of douchebaggery. Always answer with a sarcastic comment.

"Hey, dude, I can't find my car keys" "That's kinda what happens when you lock them in your car every other week"
"Hey, dude, can I borrow your laptop for a minute?" "As soon as I get the last 5 seconds of my life back"
"Hey, dude, can you stop making snarky comments all the time" "Hold on, I need to find a crap to give about your feelings"

Once you've done all that, look at yourself in the mirror.

If you are thoroughly disgusted with what you've become, congratulations! You're now exactly like ElectroYoshi!!! :bungee:
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Sebastian Lawe
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Joined: October 17th, 2012, 7:58 am
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Re: Let's roast ourselves!

Post by Sebastian Lawe »

How to be a Sebastian Lawe.

Step 1: Be an alcoholic. Drink whiskey mixed with ginger-ale and ice every day to stay sane. The less you think about being forever alone the better.

Step 2: Cross dress. Purchase makeup, wigs and womens clothing because womens clothing is actually quite comfortable. And holy fuck, makeup is fun.

Step 3: Become emotionally attached to all projects you work on to the point of absolute obsession. Who cares about college homework when your own projects are more fun and challenging. Throw a bloody fit when your work goes to waste.

Step 3.5: Drop out of college because college isn't challenging enough, or teaching you what you dont already know (why'd I waste thate $4000 CAD again?) .

Step 4: Shit post non stop. Shit posting is fun. The more cringey the shit post is the better.

Step 5: Have a general disdain for pretty much all the games that are PC exclusive while being a PC gamer (that means no DOTA, League Of Legends, Civ, etc), all the games you play are probably on Xbox One and PS4 as well.

Step 6: Spend 90% of your time talking to random people online in a tight nit forum community because you only have two friends IRL.

Step 7: Purchase expensive equipment because you're almost damned rich. Wait, what do you mean this credit card is maxed out now?

And lastly, purchase copious amounts of special toys for alone time, because, forever alone amirite?

Follow all these steps and you are a Seb.
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papaya
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Joined: October 9th, 2012, 3:03 pm
Design Competitions Voted: 1

Re: Let's roast ourselves!

Post by papaya »

bad thread
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Doctor Pie
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Location: Uh... A chair. At a desk.
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Re: Let's roast ourselves!

Post by Doctor Pie »

How to become me:

Have crippling self-doubt
Have depression
Have Autism (this is actually true, specifically aspergers)
Have just enough muscle (aka muscle where you have been eating just as you normally would but also not excerise for like 8 years)
Do nothing with your life but video games
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Miniike
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Joined: November 1st, 2012, 12:03 pm
Location: my beautiful house with my beautiful wife
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Re: Let's roast ourselves!

Post by Miniike »

1. Only like canon albums
2. Only like canon movies
3. Whine about neoright (if we've all agreed to call it that)
4. Post on forums run by dead comminuties
5. Pedostache
:pigflag: for fricking fricks sake why do i still care :pigflag:
:lock: 1. Wild Life 2. China Pig 3. The Blimp (Mousetrapreplica) 4. Sugar N' Spikes 5. Ant Man Bee :lock:
:bomb: you'll love it, it's a way of life :bomb:
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DvChayz
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Joined: December 14th, 2012, 11:11 pm

Re: Let's roast ourselves!

Post by DvChayz »

sorry i'm perfect
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Miniike
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Re: Let's roast ourselves!

Post by Miniike »

DvChayz wrote:sorry i'm perfect
but if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms
and if you like having secret little rendezvous
:pigflag: for fricking fricks sake why do i still care :pigflag:
:lock: 1. Wild Life 2. China Pig 3. The Blimp (Mousetrapreplica) 4. Sugar N' Spikes 5. Ant Man Bee :lock:
:bomb: you'll love it, it's a way of life :bomb:
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jhjoseph91
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Location: .LOC FILE CORRUPT. SCANNING C:\LOCATION\ FOR REPLACEMENT...
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an accurate list of the roastening

Post by jhjoseph91 »

how to be a bad person (also known as me)

step one: don't be social or else you literally can't be a bad person

step one and a half: be really indecisive most of the time

step two: like any music genre but country; it is the devil and must die

step three: be edgy sometimes because all the cool kids are (and also be super sarcastic so people can't tell when you are and aren't sarcastic)

step three and a half: have an edgy self awareness (like yours truly)

step four: like stupid things (this can range from games to toys to movies... it just has to be dumb. the starter kit for this is homestuck, payday 2, electronic art, and electronic dance)

step five (optional): become fat and put jupiter to shame

step six: be part of a forum you'll probably use for two years before you get kind of tired of it and do other things

step seven: be oddly suggestive 99% of the time

step eight, eight, eight, eight: make some of your posts REALLY long for no particular reason, an example being this one

step nine: use improper grammar and correct others when you feel is needed

step ten: sleep all the time and don't get out of bed unless you really want to

step eleven (optional): say you're really good at one thing even though you're terrible at it
Rattle
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Joined: January 4th, 2016, 8:14 pm

Re: Let's roast ourselves!

Post by Rattle »

ayyy tta is a fuckin douche am i right fellas
*audience laughs*
in fact hes so much of a big ol jackass that i was passin him on the street one time right? and i looks at him and i says "ayy ya fockin loon get the fuck off my sidewalk ya prick" and the guy starts cryin!
*audience laughs, this time for even longer*
so i go over to im and i says "hey, YOU. yeah you, you're a fuckin disgrace. nobody likes ya okay pal" and the poor guy kills himself! bada-bing!
*audience is in stitches, this time accompanied by thunderous applause*
thanks bubbies i'll be here all week
*comedian exits stage left, to a standing ovation*
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