Spoiler
Friends in Digital Places
When I discovered the Internet, it never dawned on me that strong friendship could be created in such a place. What can I say? As far as I was concerned, all online interaction really amounted to was typing something and clicking the “send” button. However, that was false. Just like many other things I thought when I was seven.
As someone who plays a lot of video games, I enjoy talking about them with other people. In 2010, I stumbled across a gaming community that I’m still part of now. I was excited about finding this place. I liked the idea of talking about video games with people across the rest of the world, because it would allow me to get a variety of perspectives on any topic (Well, that and I hated my real-life classmates). Everyone there had a mutual interest in video games and played them frequently, with many of them hoping to become video game designers one day.
For a long time my relationship with these guys was fairly normal. We’d post on the site about our favorite video games, and our concerns about the industry. We never got “up close and personal” for the first couple of years. But after about a year and a half, that started to change. One thing led to another, and some of us started to become far closer. Good timing too, because 2012 was not a great year for me. I lost friends in real life, had people I was close to move away, struck out with a girl I was in love with, among other things. At that point, the idea that I was living the “best years of my life” seemed utterly cringe-worthy to me. But that was OK, because my online group was there to help me get through it. Just visiting with them was enough to improve my mood. It seemed weird at first venting to people over Skype, but it became natural after awhile. Because, really, even if your friends can’t physically “be there” for you, as long as they’re willing to listen to you, who cares?
On top of that, I have a lot of fun with these people. We really enjoy playing games and mocking each other on forum threads and Skype (On our Skype chat, I actually hold the record for “most awkward silences created”). In this regard, they’re like my real life friends. The only difference is that when I do things with my real life friends, I don’t need an Internet connection, which is nice considering how terrible my internet at home is. Barring that, my online friendships are pretty much identical on that front.
None of us have ever met in person, but not because we don’t want to. Some of us live in the US, some in the UK, some in Austria, some in Canada, among other countries. We’ve discussed the idea of meeting in person several times before, but since we’re all over the place, it’s a pretty big investment that we’re too cheap poor to make. Even after five years, we have never pulled it off. What makes that hard to swallow is that it’s possible that it won’t ever change. Online relationships can be hard to hold on to, and if you’re not careful, you might end up losing contact without meaning to. By the time you have enough money to meet in person, it’s possible that you won’t be in contact with that person anymore.
Many people tell me that online friends are not “real” because you just talk online and be done with it. Well, I’m sorry, but the truth is, I really don’t think they’re in a place to judge. Picture this for me: You make friends with someone in real life. The two of you are the best of friends for years and years. Then one day, that person moves to another state. But the two of you vow to continue to keep in touch over Skype, Facebook, Twitter, etc.. Would you call that “not a real friendship”? You’d mostly be talking online from that point forward, so would that render your connection moot? Are other online relationships fake just because they start online and not in person?
Well, are they?
Not if you’re doing it right. To this day, my group and I have fond memories of chatting on Skype, messing around on Minecraft servers, and helping each other when we needed it most. It all boils down to that connection you develop, and those experiences you have as you get to know people. As long as you have a connection with the person, that friendship can continue to grow and thrive, and make you happy in the process, even if it’s online.
Unless your electricity goes out. That could pose a problem.
As someone who plays a lot of video games, I enjoy talking about them with other people. In 2010, I stumbled across a gaming community that I’m still part of now. I was excited about finding this place. I liked the idea of talking about video games with people across the rest of the world, because it would allow me to get a variety of perspectives on any topic (Well, that and I hated my real-life classmates). Everyone there had a mutual interest in video games and played them frequently, with many of them hoping to become video game designers one day.
For a long time my relationship with these guys was fairly normal. We’d post on the site about our favorite video games, and our concerns about the industry. We never got “up close and personal” for the first couple of years. But after about a year and a half, that started to change. One thing led to another, and some of us started to become far closer. Good timing too, because 2012 was not a great year for me. I lost friends in real life, had people I was close to move away, struck out with a girl I was in love with, among other things. At that point, the idea that I was living the “best years of my life” seemed utterly cringe-worthy to me. But that was OK, because my online group was there to help me get through it. Just visiting with them was enough to improve my mood. It seemed weird at first venting to people over Skype, but it became natural after awhile. Because, really, even if your friends can’t physically “be there” for you, as long as they’re willing to listen to you, who cares?
On top of that, I have a lot of fun with these people. We really enjoy playing games and mocking each other on forum threads and Skype (On our Skype chat, I actually hold the record for “most awkward silences created”). In this regard, they’re like my real life friends. The only difference is that when I do things with my real life friends, I don’t need an Internet connection, which is nice considering how terrible my internet at home is. Barring that, my online friendships are pretty much identical on that front.
None of us have ever met in person, but not because we don’t want to. Some of us live in the US, some in the UK, some in Austria, some in Canada, among other countries. We’ve discussed the idea of meeting in person several times before, but since we’re all over the place, it’s a pretty big investment that we’re too cheap poor to make. Even after five years, we have never pulled it off. What makes that hard to swallow is that it’s possible that it won’t ever change. Online relationships can be hard to hold on to, and if you’re not careful, you might end up losing contact without meaning to. By the time you have enough money to meet in person, it’s possible that you won’t be in contact with that person anymore.
Many people tell me that online friends are not “real” because you just talk online and be done with it. Well, I’m sorry, but the truth is, I really don’t think they’re in a place to judge. Picture this for me: You make friends with someone in real life. The two of you are the best of friends for years and years. Then one day, that person moves to another state. But the two of you vow to continue to keep in touch over Skype, Facebook, Twitter, etc.. Would you call that “not a real friendship”? You’d mostly be talking online from that point forward, so would that render your connection moot? Are other online relationships fake just because they start online and not in person?
Well, are they?
Not if you’re doing it right. To this day, my group and I have fond memories of chatting on Skype, messing around on Minecraft servers, and helping each other when we needed it most. It all boils down to that connection you develop, and those experiences you have as you get to know people. As long as you have a connection with the person, that friendship can continue to grow and thrive, and make you happy in the process, even if it’s online.
Unless your electricity goes out. That could pose a problem.